With my diagnosis of I have inherited a whole heap of drugs I now need to take just to survive the day.
I take vitamin D for energy levels and pain, omeprazole to stop my stomach lining from becoming damaged, I take anti inflammatory for the swelling in my hips, anti depressants – well why the heck not?, sleeping tablets and a whole heap of pain relief, all these just to survive each day.
Now little did I realise just what effect these were having on my in other ways.
The last few weeks I have been experiencing some pretty horrific stomach pains. I also get a lot of pain just underneath my ribs. Hadn’t really linked the 2 together until my ride in the back of an ambulance this week.
I had been at work putting together some bridal flowers for a wedding the next day, when I had the urge to poop.
I flicked the closed sign on the door and I snuck off out to the loo. In an attempt to be quick, as past experience has show that if I’m going to get a phone call or a customer ringing the doorbell, 9/10 it’ll be when I’m on the look – I think that’s known as Murphy’s law, I gave a vigorous squeeze. (I’m always a little bungled up now a days) anyway as I squeezed I felt a horrific burning sensation in my guts and in the general area where I believe my appendix to be.
It was so bad I had to deep breath through it!
After about 5 mins of sitting unable to move (and yes you guessed it 3 missed calls and an irate banging on the front door) I finally found the strength to get off the toilet.
I pottered round slowly but by the end of finishing the bride’s bouquet I was on my hands and knees I was so bad.
I gingerly packed up the shop and headed home with big tears rolling down my face.
When I got home my husband bundled me up on the sofa with a hot water bottle. But after 30 mins of me yelping in pain and writhing around on the sofa he called the emergency Dr.
After a few minutes of questions and answers they said they’d be sending an ambulance out for me.
Once at the hospital they put me on a drip, dosed me with morphine and sent me of to X-ray.
I’ve never seen my husband so fraught with nerves. I swear he paced a channel into the floor!
Once the X-rays were developed and examined the Dr appeared at my bedside. His behaviour was that of a sea lion clapping his hands with excitement. You must see this he said to my husband, and dragged him off to take a look at my X-ray.
So the diagnosis came back, I am constipated. In the words of the Dr I am constipated all the way from the stomach and all the way down (this was highlighted by an exaggerated wave of his arm tracing my bowls) all the way to the bottom. Apparently he was never seen an X-ray so impressive!
My bowls are stretched to a 4 inch diameter and likely to rupture if something is not done about it soon.
How embarrassing! An ambulance ride just cos I need a poo!
My husband always joked I was full of shit! Haha
Luckily surgery is not on the list and I have avoided all foods whilst I am dosed up on powders pessaries and pills awaiting a big production.
3 days and still waiting!
Every morning noon and night I am bombarded with questions and texts from both my husband and mother enquiring after my rectal activity, and if I hear one more poo themed joke I might make them have ring side seats when it finally happens!
Am dreading one of them posting messages of congratulations on Facebook!
And yes, all of the codeine based medicine have been returned to the chemists! Am not risking this again!
Why do these things always seem to happen to me???