Most people, when they’re off on holiday, are excited. Not me. It would seem for this trip I’m riddled with anxiety. I didn’t recognise it at first, but on my 10th or 12th time of unpacking and repacking my suitcase, it dawned on me that’s what it was. But stupidly each time I packed and repacked I didn’t downsize what I’m taking. And considering that each member of the road trip was under strict instructions to pack light. A memo I obviously failed to digest. As always anxiety is a complex mixture of different pots being stirred together resulting in … Continue reading “Travel Anxiety”
Category: Mental Health
I’m going to Europe baby!!
Its only 5 days before we travel. Ahead of us are 14 days in a car, traveling 3000 miles to visit places in Europe. Places I recognise the names of, but never thought I’d actually see. Everything is placed in my suitcase ready to pack. My nails are done, my daughter is dying my hair tonight and I’ve booked in at the beauticians for a quick tidy of my eyebrows before I go. There will obviously be the requirement for personal grooming too as I’ve not had to wear shorts for almost 3 years!!! Break out the hedge trimmers! The … Continue reading “I’m going to Europe baby!!”
Not my Christmas
We all try too hard so make things perfect on social media. How about we change things up this year and make it ok not to have the perfect Christmas? #notmychristmas2021 For the longest time, I have struggled with Christmas. Each year the hype starts earlier and earlier, and despite all that we have been through in the last 24 months, this year seems to be no different. The perfect Instagram picture. Social media posts about visits to see Santa, Yuletide markets mulled wine, and matching outfits. As long as it looks like we’re holding it together to the outside … Continue reading “Not my Christmas”
My current inner monologue
“What you doing?” “Drinking my coffee.” “What you doing after that?” “Shhh, Its early! I don’t know yet.” “It’s 11am! You’ve been up for an hour!” “I know, but it’s the weekend.” “You know you’ve only got 2 months now right?” “2 months till what?” “Til you’re 40” “I know I’ve been seeing all my old school friends posts about their birthday since September! Im not stupid!” “Ye but you wrote in your journal last year, You were going to be fabulous by 40.” “Which journal?” “The one you started when you swore you were going to get your shit … Continue reading “My current inner monologue”
Like Alice down the rabbit hole
I regularly wonder,have i gone mad? I guess so, but let me tell you something, the best people usually are! I often feel like alice? Falling down the rabbit hole, the world spinning past me. Try to make some sense of it all but the sense falls just beyond my reach. That’s where I am tonight. I think I fell down my rabbit hole along time ago and I saw my magic door. The journey of trying to run a business took me through ups and downs. I certainly cried my river a long time ago. That 10 years was … Continue reading “Like Alice down the rabbit hole”
Don’t cloud my sunshine
If you asked me to describe my daughter I’d tell you she is a confident blond bubble of energy, and sunshine. She is an amazing actress, her creativity at art is outstanding and she has the voice of an angle…. actually no, it’s not an angle, is the deep chilling voice of a 40 a day habit club singer, but at 13 trust me when I say it’s breathtaking. I often giggle and call her Bubble head as she has moments of the world completely passing her by without a flinch but all in all she is one of life’s … Continue reading “Don’t cloud my sunshine”
And breath
If I’m honest today hasn’t been a very good day. The only thing in the diary was going to my second appointment at the pain clinic first thing. I’ve had a lot riding on this appointment! I was originally referred to the clinic back in February last year by my rheumatologist. Due to one cock up after another I didn’t actually get an appointment to see them until October. They were going to be the answer to my managing my pain. During that first appointment a decision was made by the team that due to the stresses and pressures of … Continue reading “And breath”
What else can I loose?
When I first started feeling the effects of Fibromyalgia I found it difficult to plan my weeks. I never knew from day to day how it would affect my body and what affect different activities would have the next day or the next. I lost the ability to work the long and physical hours that were required to keep my business trading and as a result I had to close the doors on my shop that had been my life for almost 10 years. Through fibro fog I have lost the ability to retain information such as remembering the right … Continue reading “What else can I loose?”
Me time
For the first month since closing the shop I busied myself with sorting paper work and finalising accounts. December was filled with wrapping presents and making gifts. Then first week of January I sat down with my bullet journal and began to plan all the crafts I could do for my blog with the hope that one would evolve into my next money making scheme. I got quite excited. I relished the prospect of the quiet time focusing on reinventing myself. But 4 days into the new year, 8:30am my husband walked back through the front door having been made … Continue reading “Me time”
I will not let Fibro define me
Today has not been a good day. For the last few weeks I’ve been struggling. It’s the same old thing. My head says I can but my body just laughs and lets me down. Since closing the shop I have also been struggling with my identity and equally how people see me. For the last 10 years I’ve been that lady who runs the flower shop. And 4 of those years I was the lady who does In Bloom from the flower shop. And for the 2 years before buying my shop I had been the lady who makes the … Continue reading “I will not let Fibro define me”