I remember watching Ruby Wax on TV with Mum and Dad. I can’t remember the program she was on, but I do remember the shoulder shakes from them when one of her comments tickled them. Dad was never really a feminist so laughing out loud wasn’t done, but somehow he bought up me as one. An independent arsehole that refused to take help from anyone. No matter what sex I was, I could bloody do it if I put my mind to it. And it’s still a philosophy that I stand by, even when my body tries to fail me. … Continue reading “Ruby Wax- I snotted on her Cashmere!”
Category: Humour
40 is the new 30
They say 40 is the new 30. At least that’s what they’re promoting now. It makes you feel young, feel safe and that your whole life is in front of you. And for the whole it is. It sounds great. But what the fuckers don’t tell you about 40 is the changes. It starts with a single hair on the chin that no matter how many times you pluck it the little bastard keeps growing back like a giant wired beacon that waves at one and all in the slightest of airflow, especially when the light is just right. And … Continue reading “40 is the new 30”
An evening conversing with my big brother
My brother has just had a staring contest with his pup. The dog had upset him. He’d been ‘affectionate with the cushion again’. He then yelled “You’re an utter Bastard and I shall flick you with my handkerchief”, which he then proceeded to do. With this the dog first tried ripping said handkerchief, then bounced round the furniture growling with his plastic bone. He’s now complaining about an odour coming from his pups furry butt. He’s taking turns holding said dog like a baby alternating between sniffing his mouth and sniffing his arse. If I’m honest its a little nauseating. … Continue reading “An evening conversing with my big brother”
The field up the track
There was a field up the track. Each time we visited our hideaway house, come evening my friend and I would retreat to our secret field. We would be armed with a boom box, a bottle of cheap fizzy wine and a number of cassette tapes. And we were so clever, my parents would never guess, but our cigarettes were hidden in the tape deck of the boom box, should they ever check. Watching the sunset. Drinking our wine, sharing the smokes whilst dancing and singing at the top of our lungs. Once the sun set we would lie on … Continue reading “The field up the track”
The Suicide Squad
Imagine being in a situation where your baby, your most adored little being in the world struggles so hard with their life that they think about ending it. As a teen it was something I personally experienced myself. A belief that I wasn’t enough and the world would be better without me. The last thing I’d ever want in my life is for one of my babies to be in that position. But 2016 here we were. And being on that journey, to get your child the help and support they need is one of the lonely experiences I have … Continue reading “The Suicide Squad”
Ripples in the sea
Why is my head so broken? I keep asking myself over and over again. I keep convincing myself that a new journal, some stickers or painting kit is the solution. But no matter how hard I tried I kept returning to this state where my head was loud and confused. My head wanted me to go against its natural instinct to survive. Today I was blessed with a visit from 2 of my friends that helped put my notebook to good use. Between them they traveled a total of 6.5 hrs round trip to check in with me. We met … Continue reading “Ripples in the sea”
Must try harder
I’m due back to work tomorrow. I’m only going in 2 days this week. Ease me back in gently as my life is still full of therapy sessions and health checks. I had told my line manager that if anyone asked to please be honest with them. Before ‘the event’ 3 weeks ago I had sent my team an apology for not being on my A game as I was having issues with my mental health and thoughts of self harm and suicide. They’d all been pretty supportive. But when I spoke to HR to plan to go back they … Continue reading “Must try harder”
Crazy girl escapes
The village we live in is quite rural, quiet and quaint. The last Saturday of each month we have a comedy night in the village hall. And don’t get me wrong, for somewhere so obscure we get some good headliners. Tonight was my first proper ‘night’ out since ‘the incident’. My first night out being normal. And the best bit is they’ve changed my meds so it wasn’t going to be instant death if I sniff a glass of vino! So I made the most of it. Fish n chip supper followed by an amble to the hall. Now if … Continue reading “Crazy girl escapes”
#SpaDay
I went to the spa this week. My friend and I have been promising each other we will go for over 3 years. For the first 2 of those, we couldn’t go because of Covid. The whole world had come to a grinding stop. But the last year we haven’t gone just because of life. It’s been busy. My friend has been juggling her own mental health as well as a couple of health scares, keeping motivated their autistic son, and navigating 2 sets of parents who have reached their twilight years. Including downsizing and moving to a warden-assisted building. … Continue reading “#SpaDay”
I think Poland is trying to kill us!
For 3 days we have traveled around Poland, and whilst I don’t want to sound dramatic, I think it’s trying to kill us! Have you seen any of the Final Destination films? You know, the ones where a group of teens cheat death because one of them had a premonition and altered their futures. But no matter what they do to avoid it, death still catches them up. That’s a little bit like how this leg of the journey feels. It started on that first day on the road into Poland. Up ahead of us 2 freight lorries pulled onto … Continue reading “I think Poland is trying to kill us!”