Its only 5 days before we travel. Ahead of us are 14 days in a car, traveling 3000 miles to visit places in Europe. Places I recognise the names of, but never thought I’d actually see. Everything is placed in my suitcase ready to pack. My nails are done, my daughter is dying my hair tonight and I’ve booked in at the beauticians for a quick tidy of my eyebrows before I go. There will obviously be the requirement for personal grooming too as I’ve not had to wear shorts for almost 3 years!!! Break out the hedge trimmers! The … Continue reading “I’m going to Europe baby!!”
Category: Chronic pain
My current inner monologue
“What you doing?” “Drinking my coffee.” “What you doing after that?” “Shhh, Its early! I don’t know yet.” “It’s 11am! You’ve been up for an hour!” “I know, but it’s the weekend.” “You know you’ve only got 2 months now right?” “2 months till what?” “Til you’re 40” “I know I’ve been seeing all my old school friends posts about their birthday since September! Im not stupid!” “Ye but you wrote in your journal last year, You were going to be fabulous by 40.” “Which journal?” “The one you started when you swore you were going to get your shit … Continue reading “My current inner monologue”
And breath
If I’m honest today hasn’t been a very good day. The only thing in the diary was going to my second appointment at the pain clinic first thing. I’ve had a lot riding on this appointment! I was originally referred to the clinic back in February last year by my rheumatologist. Due to one cock up after another I didn’t actually get an appointment to see them until October. They were going to be the answer to my managing my pain. During that first appointment a decision was made by the team that due to the stresses and pressures of … Continue reading “And breath”
What else can I loose?
When I first started feeling the effects of Fibromyalgia I found it difficult to plan my weeks. I never knew from day to day how it would affect my body and what affect different activities would have the next day or the next. I lost the ability to work the long and physical hours that were required to keep my business trading and as a result I had to close the doors on my shop that had been my life for almost 10 years. Through fibro fog I have lost the ability to retain information such as remembering the right … Continue reading “What else can I loose?”
I will not let Fibro define me
Today has not been a good day. For the last few weeks I’ve been struggling. It’s the same old thing. My head says I can but my body just laughs and lets me down. Since closing the shop I have also been struggling with my identity and equally how people see me. For the last 10 years I’ve been that lady who runs the flower shop. And 4 of those years I was the lady who does In Bloom from the flower shop. And for the 2 years before buying my shop I had been the lady who makes the … Continue reading “I will not let Fibro define me”
No bunnies were harmed in the writing of this blog
In the build up to Christmas I went craft mad! I made chutney and chilli jam, marmalade and mince pies. I made and decorated 4 Xmas cakes plus a tray of mini Christmas cupcakes and had cookies and biscuits coming out of my ears! I sewed both my kids comedy jumpers, I made a jacket, key rings and tree decs. Every member of my family was boxed up a hamper full of home made goodies. I made silly signs, embroidered pictures and even a tshirt that gave the wearer twinkly tits. I was chuffed to bits with how most of … Continue reading “No bunnies were harmed in the writing of this blog”
Suicide awareness month
This month is suicide awareness month. A month for opening up and talking about mental health. A month for letting those who are scared and lonely know that they are not alone and that there are people that can help. A month to not sweep this epidemic under the carpet. Every other post on my Facebook feed has been telling people that there is help out there and they are not alone. I have seen the Samaritans number so many times in just one week that I know it off by heart, and I think its great we are sharing … Continue reading “Suicide awareness month”
A little bit of Christmas spirit
Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a fan of Christmas. You could say I’m a bit of a bar humbug. There are plenty of reasons I hate Christmas, maybe one day I’ll write them all down, but my biggest bug bear of Christmas is the pressure of making that one day perfect. I’ve been very lucky that for the past 10 years I have been able to hide behind my work and blame the shop for the lack of Xmas spirit. It always started way too early in the shop. I’d spend every weekend in December running workshops, mossing … Continue reading “A little bit of Christmas spirit”
Its all shits and giggles
After 14 days of working round the clock to clean out the premises I was down to the last few days before handing my beloved shop back to the landlords. The business is gone. All thats left is just the shell of what used to be. My husband offers to take a couple of days off work to help me get it all finished. After the first day of his help I was so shattered when I got home I passed out for 2 hours on the sofa. When I finally woke up the last thing I wanted to think … Continue reading “Its all shits and giggles”
An early Thanksgiving
So my business is closed. I hand the keys back to the landlord on Saturday and I hate it. My shop has been my baby for nearly ten years. I’ve had 10 days of hard graft getting the place gutted. Trying to sell and clean out everything that’s not pinned down. Last Friday I had a proper melt down. The fight had gone, the pains were sky high and I just couldn’t paint the smile on another second. I got to the shop early and all I could see was the mountains of what still needed doing, rather than how … Continue reading “An early Thanksgiving”