Today was a better day.
I still don’t get good days, but it’s been better than I have been in a while.
I found time for crafting and working on my current project. Something yesterday I thought I was going to put straight in the bin.
I didn’t work on it for long. But I can see the progress.
I also wrote myself a list of things to tick off as and when I do them.
I didn’t achieve anything on the list, but I feel better that there is a plan.
That means I’m imagining days in the future where I’ll get these jobs knocked off. Where as before I struggled to even imagine getting through the next hour.
I’m still getting friends reach out to me.
Reminding me I’m loved and I’m needed.
Again something that has been very difficult to find space for in my head these last few months.
My dearest friend sent me some sunflower seeds which I’ll get planted this weekend. A reason to keep looking forward.
And I sat with my husband to watch a movie.
I actually managed to stay focused on the first half before my mind wondered back towards destruction.
And the sun shone.
Like spring is finally here.
They’re not massive mile stones, but it’s a step forward.
And even if it’s only one small step at a time I do hope to find my way back to the old me.
Actually no, not the old me, I spent too long resenting her.
A step towards the new me, the me with love and self compassion.