Today has been hard
We were due to finish our holiday on Saturday. which allowed us 2 days visiting Germany
But being this close to the end, we realised we all just want to be home.
Ever since that decision was made I have felt like I just want to cry.
Not the silent tears that fell when visiting Auschwitz, but the big heartfelt sobs that leave you exhausted and covered in snot.
It doesn’t help that I’ve felt poorly. My irritating perky attitude has slipped away and I feel a shell of the girl who started this trip.
I started getting a cold in Budapest. We also lost a travel buddy then. It was the right decision for them to head home at that point. But we all felt the void.
Bratislava was subdued. It was the first location we didn’t have a plan of attack. The first location we stayed at a hotel. And the first time in 10 days I had any time alone. And that lead to thinking time. Time to miss all I was away from.
Vienna was exhausting and tensions within the group ran high. This was only exasperated by hight temperatures and very little sleep. Burn out was setting in.
Our next stop was Austria and it was the first time on the trip that we had planned to just rest. And so I did. I slept for 2 days.
I woke, I ate and I went back to rest again and again.
And regardless of whether my body needs it, for me that always carries guilt. I hate wasting time that I could be enjoying things.
We we surrounded by forest that I would have usually walked in, but it was all I could do to walk from bed to fridge and back again.
My fibro has returned with vengeance. A cruel payback of enjoying life too much.
Our journey across Germany I have been quiet. Sleeping often. So much so that my travel buddies have commented on the change in mood.
And for that I feel guilty too.
How do I explain that I have loved every minute of my trip. But now I just want to be home.
They have been the most amazing companions and our friendship will forever be entwined in the memories that have been made on this trip.
In the coming days I know I will miss them terribly.
But for now I click my heels and say ‘ there’s no place like home. There’s no place like home ‘