Last nights dream has left my mood low, but equally has given me some clarity. The first part of the dream I had visited a seaside town I haven’t been to since I was much younger. All the routes I previously knew had changed due to building works and development. I found myself at a psychic and craft fair. I wondered round aimlessly finding very little of interest so returned to my car getting lost numerous times on route. When I arrived at the car my daughter was there. She wanted to see the fair herself. I walked half way … Continue reading “A Dream of Clarity”
Month: August 2023
Glorious HRT
In 2017 I went to my GP due to sweats, pain, low mood and memory loss. They suggested I was perimenopausal, but without a blood test to prove otherwise, the fact that I still had a regular monthly cycle, they wouldn’t treat me. I have been seeing my GP every 2 weeks since March. Most of the visits we focus on my mental health, my pain levels from fibro, and all the big things that are affecting my life right now. About 2 months ago I happened to mention, that with the warmer weather, my sweats were nye on impossible … Continue reading “Glorious HRT”
Where’s the light?
When my mental health took such a turn in March, I thought that by the end of summer, I’d be getting better. My garden would be beautiful and my completed crafts would be stacking up filling my little heart with joy. And I have had some days where I’ve been brighter. I allowed myself to feel I was turning a corner. That my mental health was on the rise. I went to bed last night wanting to be motivated for today. To start ticking things off the ever-growing to-do list. But thats not how today is going. I’ve woken up … Continue reading “Where’s the light?”
Hows my day going ?
How’s my day? So far I’ve spent 2 hours doom scrolling. I’ve cried at posts, I’ve smiled and I’ve shared pointless memes. And now I’m barating myself for achieving nothing. Last night I missed out my strong pain meds and my sleeping tablets hoping I wouldn’t feel so groggy, so drunk when I woke up. But my head is swimming. My foot pain after my turned ankle did disturb some of my sleep, but otherwise I feel like I clocked up a few good hours, so why do I feel so rough. I’m angry I’m not motivated. I’m angry that … Continue reading “Hows my day going ?”
The toilet dream
Last night’s dream was a little different to my usual anxiety dream. Usually in this dream, I’m hunting for a toilet and I’m bursting to go. I’m running up and down corridors of a building hunting for the ladies’ room. Up and down staircases getting more and more lost. Each room I come to has moulded floors, think similar to a very shallow version of a large hot tub. Lots of areas where pools can form and nye on impossible to keep clean. Some cubicles are showers or changing rooms, some have no dividers between each pan. But the worst … Continue reading “The toilet dream”
Road to recovery – part 1
The first memory I have of feeling helplessly low? I was about 6 years old. When I’d started school I was the youngest in the year. Some of my peers had been going to school since the autumn term or the January term, so my rocking up after Easter put me at a disadvantage. I was good with my numbers, and was able to read a little so class wise I was on a level, but emotionally, I was way behind. And this is something that isn’t widely acknowledged. It makes a massive difference when trying to form friendships for … Continue reading “Road to recovery – part 1”
La Reinerie
It’s strange to be back. A place I haven’t ventured back to for 15 years and knowing 10 have been without you on the earth. The last place you stayed before you were taken to hospital. My brother has worked wonders, a one-man band changing and renovating sometimes by choice and sometimes to preserve the stability of the bones. He has done such a wonderful job to keep the house in good health whilst putting his personal stamp on the place. La Reinerie. The 300 year old cow shed that we were blessed to have as our childhood holiday home. … Continue reading “La Reinerie”